I preach love.
I will admit that I do not always succeed in putting love forward.
at times, like most of us, I’m flawed and human.
at times the feelings of anger and resentment invade me.
all encompassing,
and it devours me.
until there is only a sliver of love left.
that last shred of light that no amount of darkness can over power.
It is this light that I have come to rely on.
to get me out of my darkness and to remind me.
I say often that you’ll never regret leading with love, and in my experience, I’m right.
so it is discouraging when I fail.
fail at something I know.
fail when I know the answer.
why the fuck do we do that.
why do we know whats right and still waver to the wrong, to the painful.
Is it all part of the process?
misdirected ego?
It is inevitable ?
more importantly, can we change it ?
Can we learn to always lead with love?
Or do we ultimately need the dark to appreciate the light?
Maybe thats where I need to stop the struggle.
I dont give up, but i most certainly give in.

-Farrin